|
|
|
You are now reading the diary of a quitting smoker! Yesterday was my ‘last day’ of smoking. I put ‘last day’ in inverted commas because I’m a realist and I know how hard it is to quit. Bloody cigarettes, why do they have to be so enticing? Little bastards keep calling me back. “Michael, smoke us or we won’t fulfill our reason for existing!” and I, the ever-so-good Samaritan answers their call and buys a bloody packet. Grr.
I worked all weekend. I am absolutely drained. I had to work till 3am on Friday and Saturday nights and last night I worked till 1am. I got home and couldn’t sleep because my whole body clock was out of whack and watched bad late night TV where ugly presenters were trying to get to buy stuff ranging from Acne remedies (that Jessica Simpson and Britney Spears use(!)) to another bloody AB machine that is guaranteed to give me great Abs in 2 weeks. Pfft. Screw them. I hope they all get hernias. Or really really bad acne. That would be truly sweet. So I turned off the TV and listened to the new Coldplay album in the dark. Chris Martin makes me sigh a lot. I love his voice. His sexy sexy voice that is married to Gwyneth and resulted in a child with a horrible name. I hate how the world works.
Work was good. The new manager wasn’t there for most of it. She starts at 9:30am and sometimes stays back till midnight because… -cough- … “Sanity is my life! I love to process stock.”. What a Douche. That’s right; I called her a vaginal cleaner. On Saturday Mark A (we have 2 Mark/cs, Mark A and Marc F. For a little back story: Mark A I do not find attractive but I love working with him because we pretty much joke around the whole time. Marc F is my perfect guy, physically but is a major wanker and I sometimes cannot stand him.) was telling me about how he watched ‘Silence of the Lambs’ and was laughing when Buffalo Bill would say “It puts the lotion on its skin.” And so I put this song on the store speakers called ‘Lotion’ by Greenskeepers which is one of the funniest songs EVER. The guy sings as Buffalo Bill and says “It puts the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again.”. Truly magnificent musical art. If you can get it, do, you will not be sorry.
The past week was pretty passive. I spent most of my time at an internet café and chatting to my various friends. It was good but sometimes I really miss spending time with actually physical people. I went to kickboxing, and that was good on Mon, Tues and Wed nights but it wasn’t enough. It hasn’t gotten to the stage where the loneliness has set in, but it’s just a bit… lonesome. Eh.
I have written about this about a billion times here but here I go again, just because there’s a bit of a fresh new spin on the whole deal, but I’m getting antsy with the whole relationship thing. It frustrates me that I haven’t found anyone yet and I know that I shouldn’t expect anything or force it because it’ll come in time but it’s just fucked waiting around for something that you begin to think will never happen.
People have told me to just go out and find someone to fuck but I do not want my first experience to be like that. I’m fucking 21 and a virgin. Now, I have an actual reason behind my lack of any sexual contact. First off, going to an all boy’s high school and being gay was not fun. Even though there was no actual evidence that I was gay, it came flying pretty thick and I was horribly angry with myself that I was gay. It took me years to even be ok with being myself. Through those years I was in no place to find someone to get close to because I was a wreck. I was in denial, full of self hate and depressed. Not exactly an attractive prospect for a partner. Only last year did I come out to my parents which was the first step to accepting this massive thing that was on my shoulders. And I have.
So that takes me the present. Now the reason I don’t want to just go out and get a fuck is because I would hate for that to be my first experience. Maybe I’m putting too much emphasis on the ‘first time’ thing but I don’t want to be one of those people who just go out and fuck anything that moves. Not that I’m judging :P. I’m not expecting my first time to be fucking amazing and just like a movie, but I would like it to be with someone with whom I have created a great relationship, where we understand each other and have mutual trust. Someone who I love and have deep feelings for.
I’ve written all this before and have had a variety of feedback from people but I think I find comfort in my little world. I don’t know if it’ll happen. I’m not holding out for the perfect guy to come along right this minute and then to just jump his bones, but I’m not going to settle on just going to a gay club and blowing someone through a glory hole. What ever tickles your fancy, but it sure as hell doesn’t tickle mine.
Anyway, the reason for me writing this again is because I’m sexually frustrated among a sea of guys who I have affection for but will not result in anything because they are all fucking straight. Here are the bachelors:
Bachelor No 1.: Ryan - Friend of a friend who can now be called a friend of mine. Physically attractive. Known to be a bit of a bitch, brooder and sook. I thus far have not experienced any of this. He’s a straight as the day is long but we get along really well. He flirts with me like there’s no tomorrow and it might be that I’m attracted to him purely on this basis (I have never had a guy flirt back with me) but what can I do about that?
Bachelor No. 2.: Hugh – Guy I work with. Hugh is attractive (to me anyway :P). Has longer hair and is usually unshaven (which makes me weak at the knees). He’s a BMX bike rider and goes off on a whole bunch of competitions around the world. Absolute geek, keeps quoting ‘Napoleon Dynamite’ and ‘The Simpsons’. He’s been through heaps of shit in his life, which I’m not going to get in to. He’s more of a major crush that I’ve had ever since I started working there. Also helping me to get a car. Yay for Hugh.
Bachelor No. 3: Lauchie – Friend from Uni. Scruffy to the max. Owns 2 pairs of pants that are identical and only wears them and blue wife beater singlets. Phwaor. Totally mellow guy who is gorgeous under all that scruffiness. Loves John Butler (and would most probably turn gay for him). Usually found sitting out front of his house, stoned and strumming the same 3 chords on his guitar over and over again. Nicest guy I have ever met, very laid back.
Bachelor No. 4.: Falco – Guy who works at the Stussy store in Crown. Friend of Hugh’s brother. Never actually met him. Just gorgeous from afar. Alternative as hell (has those big wooden spikes through his ears. Wears glasses too. Oh God. FALCO!
Bachelor No 5.: Benny – Guy I went to school with. First major crush and I have major affection for him. Was the first person I came out to, even though we weren’t that good friends. When I had to take a couple of weeks off from school because of MAJOR depression he found me in the school library crying. He asked me what was wrong and sat down next to me. I said nothing and he said he wasn’t leaving till I told him, so I did. Called me a fucking idiot for it and we then became friends. Haven’t spoken to him recently though. Straight as hell.
So there we go. 5 guys in my life (yes Falco is my life) that I have no chance with. Every time I come across them I begin to think how futile it all is. Then I get thinking that I’m not even worth it. Who the fuck would want me? I don’t even have the self confidence to say that I’m worth it. I’m still obsessed with my physical appearance and think that I’m the fattest fuck on the planet (and don’t say I’m not because everyone says that and it’s sunk in, but I just don’t know how to change my self-image). It’s just stupid mental bullshit that I don’t know how to push through.
I put up this happy front to everyone yet for every second of everyday these thoughts are circling in my head.
I’m happy who I am as a person. I think I have a good personality that I’m likable and easy to get along with. Just this other shit outweighs all that and then I’m left with sitting in front of scale that points and laughs at me about how I’m always going to be alone.
I don’t know what to do. I so want to kick my mind in the balls, but alas, they are attached to mine and I don’t like getting kicked in the balls.
This whole situation isn’t something that I lie in bed crying about, but it just gets me down. I feel so low every time I see couples together, when I leave the company of friends by myself and have to come to my empty room… it makes things so hard.
I’m sick of being alone. Of having to rely on me. On not having that person you can call at any time of the day or night and be made to feel that they care about you in that special way. Someone who you can depend on in that special way.
Relationships aren’t perfect and I know I’m imagining it be fantastic but even with the stupid fights and arguments and annoying things that come with it. I want it. So bad.
The only person I can truly depend on is me. I’m the only person who has to deal with my shit.
I’m tired of it. So very fucking, brokenly, utterly, excruciatingly tired.
I heart you all. Except for me at the moment.
|
|
|
Yo yo!
I'm sorry guys. I know I keep saying it over and over again BUT my first exam is over. ONE MORE TOMORROW AND THEN IT'S OVER! HURRAH!
I'm trying to make up my absence through a story of photos.
Had a little 21st Birthday celebration.
Beginning of the night I am searching for my photogenetics:
Then I thought I should pretend to be a DJ. AIR DJING!:
Then the world went a bit blue and I was weirdly happy:
Then the world went a bit hazy as I had a drink and the candle flame rose and became weirdly elongated:
Then I AIR DJed some more on my friends breakfast bar:
Then terrorists attacked us and we all fell down. Except Rob because the terrorists didn't think he was important:
Then I rescued Sinead from the imaginary burning bulding and thought I saw a fluro pink vagina telling me a should eat some buckwheat (thus my weirded out face):
Then I thought I should breakdance really badly:
Shall write an entry soon!
I heart you all.
Except the evil fluro pink vagina. I HATE YOU FLURO PINK VAGINA!
|
|
|
I apologise to everyone who reads my journal but I’ve just been full-on in assignment mode. It’s near the end of semester and all the assignments are now due. It’ll all be over soon.
Not much to report other than my housemate is a stupid mole who has a fucking attitude problem. 2 weeks ago I made some toast and I accidentally burned it and scraped off the burnt bits into the sink that had a whole load of dirty dishes. I was going to wash it off and then I thought “What’s the fucking point? They’re dirty dishes and the crumbs will be washed off anyway.” So then a few hours later I walk into the kitchen and she bites my head off about leaving the crumbs in the sink.
I don’t have a problem with someone having an issue about something I’ve done. It’s expected when you live with someone but don’t go on the offensive as soon as you draw attention to what I’ve done. A simple “Michael, could you please not do that.” would’ve sufficed.
I can’t wait to move out. She’s fucked in the head.
I promise to update soon.
I heart you all.
Except my stupid house mate who I hope is raped by Chlamydia infected monkeys.
|
|
|
I’ve been noticing a trend in music while working at the CD store. People have begun to buy a lot of house music, and this has been going on for about 2 years now. House music, for those who don’t know, is an electronically synthesized type of music that, when it originated was actually kind of cool. It was really funky and groovy and really cool to listen to.
When it originated “R&B” (now, these are in quotation marks because I do not agree that what is classified under this term is truly R&B. How are 50Cent, Nitty and Snoop Dogg R&B? It’s fucking urban music. R&B is the old stuff.) was the popular choice of music and it sold by the multitude.
House music was soon as underground and it didn’t have a large market share. Now, in Australia at least, organizations like ‘The Ministry Of Sound’ has commercialized this once cool music and prostituted itself out to absolute bullshit artists. One example is “Out Of Touch” by Uniting Nations. This was a “popular” song in the 80’s and was remixed with some electronic music, a bit of playing around with the vocals and released in to the charts.
The lyrics of this song?:
You're out of touch
I'm out of time
But I'm out of my head when you're not around
You're out of touch
I'm out of time
But I'm out of my head when you're not around
You're out of touch
I'm out of time
But I'm out of my head when you're not around
You're out of touch
I'm out of time
But I'm out of my head when you're not around
You're out of touch
I'm out of time
But I'm out of my head when you're not around
You're out of touch
I'm out of time
But I'm out of my head
whoa-ohhhhh
Absolute drivel. The music is utter crap the lyrics leave even a piece of shit to be desired. And it was selling SO fucking much. Now what gets me is that people fucking LOVE to jump on the bandwagon as soon as something is deemed cool and follow it blindly (-cough-Von Dutch-cough-). It frustrates me that people are such sheep.
No longer is “R&B” as cool as it used to be. Now to be different and cool house music is the rage.
To be honest when I’m trashed off my nut and this song comes on I won’t say no to dancing to it in a drunken stupor but why the fuck would I want to buy it? For what possible reason would I buy the single? How can you appreciate this?
God, I don’t know why I get so worked up by this but it just gets to me. I can’t imagine accepting something like this so blindly.
I don’t want to sound as if I’m above this. I mean look, my music is questionable at times.
Heck, I fucking downloaded “Since U Been Gone” by Kelly Clarkson AND I borrowed 5ives Greatest Hits off a friend so I could copy it! But this happens on such a rare basis that it could be deemed a miracle.
I also don’t want to sound like I’m an authority on music because there is no fucking way that that is even possible. My knowledge of bands that play the type of music I like is fairly limited but I investigate what other people listen to and sometimes appropriate that to my own play list, but the way house music has gone and the popularity… it’s like the people who produce it have no musical ethics.
I’ve heard the German ‘Ministry of Sound’ Annual and even though I didn’t like it I could appreciate that it was very different and that they didn’t sell out like its Australian counterpart has.
The title of this entry could in turn be pushed back on to me. I’m not going to conform to what’s popular so I’m basically conforming to those that hate this music and if you think that then that’s fine, but I honestly don’t believe that this music is worth buying to even use the disc as a coaster.
I heart you all.
Except horny little kids who come in to my store and buy the ‘Carmen Electra spreading her legs’ poster.
|
|
Thursday, April 28th, 2005
|
|
|
Well the cold is still holding out. When I talk I sound like a 50 year old with throat cancer. My voice is all raspy and I’m so tired. I’m still going to kickboxing though. I know that I need to rest my body to get over this cold but I’m too scared that if I take time out of it now I’ll just get unmotivated again and then I’ll be back to square one.
Keep pushing baby.
In other news I started an assignment today. It’s a group assignment where we have to come up with a new product and then create a PR campaign for it. I came up with the product (because I rule all) and it’s designed to combat childhood obesity. It’s kind of like the PlayStation EyeToy but instead of a pissy little camera it’s these special gloves, socks and mat that you connect to your gaming console and you control all the actions of the character on the screen. The way it tackles childhood obesity is that you have to constantly be moving instead of sitting down and using a controller.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Not much else. I’m going to work tomorrow which means lots of money for moi. Hurray. I’m going to be buying a car soon which means I will no longer be stuck at home and I’ll be able to drive to my friends houses. That prospect makes me excited. Hurray for driving!
Anywho, I heart you all.
Except wankers who don’t appreciate my jokes. Because they are very funny. Bitch.
|
|
|
Thought I’d post an entry that is a bit more than just a few lines.
Just got back from work. I was supposed to work from 12-5 but I ended up working till 9 which means that I worked 8 ½ hours at public holiday rate! Woo! (it’s minus half an hour because we don’t get paid for our ½ hour break…tight asses). I was feeling sick the whole time but getting $37 an hour was kick ass.
For those who don’t know what Anzac Day is it’s a celebration of those who fought for Australia. ‘Anzac’ stands for “Australian and New Zealand Army Corps” (I think :P) and there are big parades with all the people in the various armed forced wearing medals and all that. Woo.
It was busy today and we beat budget easily because the budget for today was fairly low so that was good. We got a lot of asshole customers though. I had a woman come up when we put ‘The Killers’ album on and she said that the music was driving her out of the store. Stupid mole. I wish I could have thrown something at her but that would go against customer service. I hate the whole ‘customer is always right’ stance that business take. I know that it is important but sometimes… I just want to grab someones head and bang it against the counter. Not with too much force… just maybe draw a little blood… crack a little cartilage…
At the moment I’m trying to read ‘The Dante Club’ by Matthew Pearl. My dad said it was great book but I’m having trouble getting in the right fram of mind to read it. I just finished reading book 10 of ‘The Wheel Of Time’ series and so I think I’m still in the fantasy genre head space.
Kickboxing is tomorrow. Very much looking forward to it. The guy is going to be taking the class so I have to mentally prepare myself to be bashed against the head with some pads. Woo.
I heart you all.
Except drug fucked people who yell at me and say that I’m trying to destroy the country.
|
|
|
I'm in an internet cafe in the city because I came to work 2 hours early. I'm so annoyed. It's bloody Anzac Day today and the store is closed until 12. Fucking annoying.
I have a cold and the sniffles and my throat hurts.
Just thought I'd post a little entry.
I heart you all.
Except stupid PC motherfuckers (cheers I.C.K)
|
|
Wednesday, April 20th, 2005
|
|
|
COLDPLAY ARE RELEASING A NEW ALBUM!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I can’t wait. I went to the website to re-register because I hadn’t logged on in a year and I listen to their new single… I still don’t know what I think about it. It hasn’t grabbed like the other singles they’ve released have… it sounds like something I’m going to have to grow to love rather than love straight off. God I love Coldplay. And what gets me even more excited is the fact that this means that they’re going to be touring again. Their concert in 2003 was AMAZING. I loved it so much. The experience of seeing them live and the atmosphere and just their showmanship was… god, thinking about it brings a tear to my eyes.
Coldplay is the best band in the world. If you disagree go away and die. Or just go away for a few minutes and then come back. Not experiencing my writings for a few minutes should be suffering enough for you. Bitch. –cough-
I went to kickboxing last night and the class was so intense. It was a different teacher and the guy was fucking HARD. When we were doing stretches he came up behind me and pushed me forward so I could touch my head to my knees… dear god that was hard. Then when we were doing the punches he took over from my partner for a bit with the pads. Kickboxing you have to keep your fists at the side of your face to prevent any blows to your head. I kept forgetting and he kept smacking me in the side of the head with the pads. It was so frustrating but I appreciated it at the end of the lesson because it made me realise what I was doing wrong and it was kind of humiliating which meant that I remembered it the next time.
I’m going to another class tonight and tomorrow night because I want to go 2 nights a week and last night, tonight and tomorrow night are the only nights I’m free for classes this week. Look out world…
In other news I got my paper back for one of my subjects (we actually call it essays here in Australia but Sebastian called it a paper because he’s an evil fascist American and it sounded cooler so from now on I’m calling it ‘paper’) and I got a ‘Distinction’ which is the equivalent of a ‘B’. I’m pretty happy with that. It’s so fucking hard to get and ‘A’ (or ‘High Distinction’) that I’ve resigned to the fact that a ‘B’ average is good and if I get an ‘A’ it would be a bonus.
Have to run off now to print off my CV. I’m handing in an application to the Public Relations society of my uni for an internship. Yay!
|
|
|
I was working my stupid 3 hours shift last night and these two kids came in, both about 10-11 years old. They came to the counter with the ‘Candy Shop’ by 50 cent single. I told them that they need parental consent to purchase it because it was rated MA15+ (in Australia the ratings go ‘C’ – for children, ‘G’ – for general viewing, ‘PG’ – for Parental Guidance for children under 15, ‘M’ – For mature audiences (which means that kids under 15 can watch it without a parent/guardian but they should consider the rating), ‘MA15+’ – children MUST be accompanied by an adult, ‘R’ – 18+). Anyway, the two kids run off to get their mum who returns 20 minutes later to tell me off for having her kids drag her in here to purchase something.
What. The. Fuck? This stupid woman tells me off for having some consideration for her children’s wellbeing? You fucking mole.
I think this is a fucking major issue when it comes to children’s upbringing. ‘Candy Shop’ by 50 Cent for 10 year olds?
“I’ll take you to the Candy Shop
I’ll let you lick the lollipop
Blah blah blah”
These sexual innuendos are not things kids should be listening to. I don’t mean that these kids should be listening to ‘The Wiggles’ but there is music more appropriate for that age group. Parents are letting their kid’s buy this bullshit and get annoyed when someone draws attention to it because they wanted to spend and extra 10 minutes playing the pokies wasting their money they were going to use for groceries.
Then they bitch and moan when kids grow up to be sexually active before their time, or become violent and don’t listen to or respect their elders.
People want their children to be easy. They plant them in front of the TV, as if it’s some kind of babysitter, and then hope for the best.
The amount of kids that come in and act like little fucking tossers… it blows my mind. I would never have been able to behave like these kids do when I was that age. I wasn’t allowed to watch ANY movies that had more than a ‘PG’ rating. I had to fucking suffer until I was 15 to watch anything remotely worthwhile. I was left out but at least I know now that my parents cared about how I was being influenced by the media.
Don’t even get me started on the quality of this crap music that is selling so well. I’ve bitched about it many a time. ‘Simple Plan’ bitching and moaning about how shit their lives are, praying on kids who think that their parents are fucked and their lives are worthless… ‘Snoop Dogg’ releasing thee crappiest song EVER and not respecting his audience enough to bring out something of quality. ‘Hilary Duff’ bringing out a billion movies a year, all with the EXACT SAME plot and her singing 98% of the songs on the soundtrack, PLUS her actual albums (and now her sister is trying to get a singing carrier too. They’re going to be in a movie and are going to cover a Madonna song together…).
That’s right society, don’t take an interest in the shit your kids are absorbing and then complain that they’re mimicking the crap they see and hear. You angry that your kid is lashing out at you because you didn’t buy them an iPod? Don’t fucking buy them any ‘Simple Plan’ B.S. You shitty that you’re kid is swearing and participating in sexual activities at the age of 6? Turn off the ‘Snoop Dogg’ and ’50 Cent’.
You fucking idiots.
So that is my rant for this week. That woman shat me so much… if I ever have kids they are so going to suffer if this trend continues and becomes the norm because I won’t have any of it.
I heart you all.
Except stupid customers who yell at me for caring about their kids mental wellbeing.
|
|
|
Urgh, sorry about my last post. I’ve just been in a mood this week and it all caught up with me. It happens every so often and the self-loathing comes out and I judge every aspect of myself and I always fall short.
I’m over it.
I went to work last night and had to wait around for Tanya (a girl at work) to finish because we were going to see ‘The Amityville Horror’. It was a decent movie. Nothing spectacular, not extremely scary. It had a few jumpy moments but that’s about it. Though I loved the Ryan Reynolds with no shirt on scenes. They made the night.
Watched ‘Napoleon Dynamite’ this morning. I still have no idea about what I just saw. It’s a… weird movie and I’m not sure how to interpret the underlying themes… but it was good for a laugh, I guess. Loved the dance to Jamiroquai. Though I had to watch it with the sound off because I was cringing so much.
Going to work a 3 hour shift today. Stupid area manager is now being so stingy on shifts that I have to friggen work 3 hours now. What a fuck with. It used to be that 5 hours was the minimum but now he’s just being retarded and fucking us all around.
Fucking asshole. At least I get to work 17 and half hours this week. That’ll bring the moolah in next week. Looking forward to my pay check.
Um… not much else. According to my work roster I’m going to be working tonight, Monday night, and then Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday nights I can do kickboxing (yay) and then I’m working Friday night till close (3am…wooo) and then I have Saturday free. Woohoo. Hopefully the fact that I’ll be doing something everyday will get me out of this slump I’m feeling.
Here’s hoping.
I heart you all.
Except ‘A Simple Plan’ fan fucktards.
|
|
|
I hate being like this and I hate writing about it but what’s the point of having an online journal if you don’t write about it here?
I feel worthless.
I feel like I’m over putting on this façade of happiness when I feel like I’m crumbling inside.
I feel sick looking at myself and seeing the ugliest, fattest person on the planet.
I feel alone, living in a city where I only have a handful of friends who sometimes don’t make time for me.
I hate having to depend on them to NOT feel lonely.
I hate living in my skin and having to do battle with my stupid mind that tells me I’m worthless and fat and in the end will result in nothing.
I hate having to write this stupid whiney bullshit on my online journal so I don’t feel alone in my self-worthlessness.
I hate it.
So much.
And I hate getting torn up inside every time I feel like shit and envy those who don’t want to jump in front of a car whenever they feel bad.
Don’t worry, I’m not suicidal, I’m just in a fucked up mood.
And I would HATE for any of you to think of this as a cry for help or attention. I just want to vent this steam.
I heart you all.
Except stupid people named Brittany.
|
|
|
Last night I met up in the city with an old friend from my previous job to have dinner. We went to a cd/DVD outlet called JB-HiFi and I bought ‘A night at the Roxboury’ (I can’t be bothered looking for the actual spelling, so that’s how I’m spelling it) for $14 and ’28 Days Later’ for $10. Both were very great bargains and IO’m very happy with my purchases. MUHAHAH!
Anyways, then we went to a little Chinese place and had some food. It was alright… until Diane found a deflated slug in her clay pot. Turns out they put slug in the chicken clay pot. Nice.
I didn’t feel like eating after that.
Then we walked around and chatted for a bit and then I went home because I was supposed to get up at 7 this morning but it’s now 9:16am and I got up 30 mins ago and I’m still unshowered and in my tracky daks and my Coldplay Concert 2003 TShirt. I have to get going soon. I have a stupid assignment due today that I need to do half of.
Stupid assessments.
I was talking with a friend at uni about my current living arrangements and how I’m saving for a car and she told me that I should look into a student loan so now I have to spend less time doing NOTHING and actually do something. I hate it when that happens.
Um… nothing else really. I’m working this weekend and then on Sat night I’m forcing my coworker to see ‘The Amytiville Horror’ with me. I love making people watch scary movies. Makes me happy.
I heart you all. Unless you’re some random asshole who listens to Avril Lavigne.
|
|
Wednesday, April 13th, 2005
|
|
|
Finally went to kickboxing on Monday night. It was fucking awesome. Loved it to death. I’ve signed up so I got all the gear for free (boxing gloves, shin pads, shirts, shorts, skipping rope, hand wraps, etc, etc.). I’m going to another class tonight after uni. Hopefully I won’t be late. I have an hour to get there but public transport is a bitch and it never syncs up.
Loneliness is still there. Apart from kickboxing on Monday I didn’t have anything to do and I ended up just watching Buffy on DVD (I have all 7 seasons and all 5 season of Angel and I want to go through it all again), so that was frustrating. Hopefully at class tonight I’ll get a cool partner and make friends. That’s what these stupid extra curricular activities are for aren’t they?
Oh, there are a few hotties there, and I saw some professional kick boxers and their bodies… god, I love being able to go into the male change room. :D
I wish I had more to say but I don’t really. Work is fine. Uni is fine. Have homework to do but always put it off.
That’s about it folks.
I heart you all.
Oh, and I want each and everyone of you to recommend your all time favourite song so I can boost my playlist somewhat.
P.S That ‘ask 2 questions’ activity I came up with is doing the rounds! I created a revolution! I saw it on a few random diaries. I rule all. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
|
|
|
In the past few weeks I have been watching heaps of South Park and loving it to death.
Here is why it is great:
Kyle: Wow! That's a lot of seamen, Cartman.
Cartman: Yeah, I bought all that I could at this bank, and then I got the rest from this guy Ralph in an alley.
Stan: That's cool.
Cartman: Yeah, and the sweet thing is, the stupid asshole didn't even charge me money for it. He just made me close my eyes and suck on a hose.
Mr. Garrison: Does anyone know what sexual harassment means?
Cartman: When you are tying to have intercourse with a special lady friend and some other guy comes up and tickles your balls from behind.
Cartman: Mom--Kitty is being a dildo.
Mrs. Cartman: Well, I know a little kitty who is sleeping with Mommy tonight.
Cartman: Well, I've been lickin' this carpet for 3 whole hours and I don't feel like a lesbian.
Butters: I'd rather be a crying little pussy than a faggy goth kid.
Cartman: Butters will give hand jobs in the corner for a dollar.
Butters: Sure! I'm good at all kinds of jobs.
Butters: Hey guys -- I finally got a semen sample after pumping on my wiener for 2 whole hours!
Mr. Garrison: I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
Mr. Garrison: Let's start the day with a few new math problems -- what is five times two? Yes. Clyde?
Clyde: Twelve.
Mr. Garrison: Okay. Now let's try and get an answer from somebody who is not a complete retard.
Mr. Garrison: Okay, children. Let's all gather around and bob for stupid apples now. You go first, Bebe. That's good. Just use those mouth muscles like the girls in Beijing.
Mr. Garrison: Gay people, well, gay people are EVIL. Evil right down to their cold black hearts which pump not blood like yours or mine, but rather--a thick, vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea-sized brains; which becomes the cause of their Nazi-esque patterns of violent behavior. Do you understand?
Mr. Garrison: A haiku is just like a normal American poem except it doesn't rhyme and it's totally stupid.
Terrance: Wow. Scott really hates us, Phillip.
Phillip: Yes, perhaps he's homophobic.
Terrance: But, we're not gay, Phillip.
Phillip: We're not?
Tweek: But, what if when I'm trying to put on the nose, the snowman comes alive and tries to kill me?
Stan: Tweek, when has that ever happened, except that one time?
Mr. Hankey (to Kyle): One time when you were sleeping, I put myself in your mouth and had my friend take a picture.
Reporter: Do you actually believe in the ladder to heaven?
Guy: If heaven is an eight year old boy ... and the ladder is my penis.
Mr. Garrison: And, so, children, that's how you tell a prostitute from a police officer. Now, are there any questions? Yes, Kyle?
Kyle: What the hell does that have to do with American history?
Mr. Garrision: Good question, Kyle. Are there any other questions?
Kyle: Mr. Garrison, I'm the only one here. Everyone else has chickenherpes.
|
|
Saturday, April 9th, 2005
|
|
|
Well today I finally reached the stage where I hate my own people even more. These two gay guys came in and asked for the new Kylie Minogue single and the new Garbage album. I checked on the system and we had both in stock so I went looking for it. It hadn’t been filed so I went round the back and checked through all the boxes to find it and they were there. So I took those out front and sold it to them.
Then they came back 5 minutes later and asked about the new Natalie Imbruglia album and I went round the back again and got that. As I was walking back to them I realized that it was weird that all these new releases weren’t filed away, I mean they are pretty huge deals (more than just some random new artist) and I checked all three titles on the system and scrolled across (the details are hidden) and saw that all three were embargoed till the 10th (2 days, which means that we can’t sell it before the specific date or else we could be susceptible to a 10 grand fine). I looked up at the guys and said,
“Sorry guys, but I’m actually going to ask for those two CDs back. They’re an embargoed product and we can’t sell them before the specified date.”
The guy looked at me and said,
“I don’t really want to give them back; I mean I’ve already paid for them.”
And I said,
“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll give you a refund, it’s just that we could be fined for releasing it before the 10th… I could be fired (which is true).”
And then his fucking friend pulls his arm and the two fags run out. I was so angry. Where the FUCK is the common decency? If someone said they could be fired for a mistake I could rectify by returning a product that is going to be available in 2 days time… no fucking problem.
THEN the fuckers had the GALL to call the other city store and say,
“We bought the new Kylie single and the new Garbage album at Crown and we were wondering if you guys were selling it too.”
They replied,
“Uh…no, there’s an embargo on it.”
Then the fags said,
“Well, that’s really bad customer service that ONE store is selling it and YOU aren’t.”
So they called our store and we told them what happened and told them to call the poofs back and tell them to go fuck themselves (they didn’t actually say that, but I was sending out AIDs vibes to them all night).
What absolute fucks.
Everyone told me not to stress TOO much because JB HiFi (a music wholesaler that sells single units for MUCH cheaper than us) usually break embargo anyway and they won’t really care about ONE sale.
So here’s hoping.
Kickboxing was AGAIN a bust, I missed the class but I went in today and signed up and now I’m DEFINITELY starting on Monday. I got all my gear and it’s exciting. Woot. Can’t wait to kick ass.
So I shall now leave you with a photo of my carefully contemplating something while having a smoke. I hate this picture but my hot indie friend Jasper said I look ok in it so…
|
|
|
DAMN YOU ARI FOR BRINGING ME BACK HERE!
OK, well, thought I would put my pics here as an introduction.
This is me and Sinead. I was being horny.
This is me and Jess. I was trying to rub my face in her boobies.
Here’s my sexy face. I know. Not sexy. But that’s Vi. She’s cool.
This is Sinead, Jess and I trying to be homies. A gay homie… hrmmm…
I’ve been feeling kind of down lately. I had an argument with one of my friends on Saturday that was pretty fucked and we resolved it and all but I’ve just been feeling a bit more down than usual.
I’m not sure if I don’t want to be in this mood or if I do. It’s stupid but I’m feeling complacent right now and it’s kind of in a bad way. I was chatting to my friends today and I just didn’t have anything to say. Nothing to contribute, no jokes to make people laugh.
I just kept rolling my ciggies and smoking them.
And update on the kickboxing: I went on Monday night but NO ONE WAS THERE. It was so annoying. The instructor showed up and said that no one has been showing up for ages and that they’re probably going to close it down anyway. I was kind of pissed but I resigned to the fact that nothing will go my way when it comes to convenience so I’m going to a class tonight in the city. It goes from 6-7 and so I’ll be home by 8-8:30 which is ok.
Other than that, not much else to say really. Holidays are over and it’s back to uni. I have assignments to start and readings to do (which I never do anyway).
Bleah.
Maybe I’ll have more to say after kickboxing tonight. I want to learn to kick someones head off.
That would by uber-cool.
Yes. I said uber damn you.
(as a side note, I have 2 other journals and I just post the same entries on them because I have friends on both sites... looks like I'll be doing the same here) :D
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
chirko's journal